Burning Tequila's throat

Tila Tequila took a couple shots at love and came to the conclusion that she's more compatible with an always angry looking, steroid using football player.

Well her perfect plan went awry today as reports that Shawne Merriman, outside linebacker of the San Diego Chargers, was arrested after being accused by Tequila of choking her.

Reports say that Tequila's claim was that she was trying to leave Merriman's home in Poway and he choked her and threw her to the ground. (1 choke, 2 choke, 3 choke, floor)

Merriman's known for his "lights out" celebration where he flails his arms in anger after sacking a quarterback. So I'm thinking maybe he couldn't wait for the season to start next week and maybe tried to go lights out on Tila.

This poor girl can't catch a break. She couldn't find the right guy, or girl for two seasons on MTV, now she's acting like her once roid raged boyfriend who takes joy in hurting people for a living is not the man she thought he was.

It wasn't a bad idea to go after a football player, it makes sense for a cover girl. But if this relationship doesn't work out she can take her chances with a different position player. She probably hasn't done this before, so here's a quick look at some big time relationships between cover girls and certain position players in the NFL:

1. Tony Romo- Quarterback

Team: Dallas Cowboys

Victim: Jessica Simpson

Analysis: Ok. When dating the start quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, you have to be smoking hot. Hence, Jessica Simpson. (Once you get past the manly jaw structure, she's really hot) It had all the makings of the perfect star couple. He was the handsome leader of America's team and she's a singer or something. What happens when two beautiful people get together? He figures out that he's young and the quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys and has plenty of other beautiful women he has to date. He figured out that playing quarterback for the Cowboys is like playing shortstop for the Yankees and if he learns from Derek Jeter, he'll have a long lasting relationship with several beautiful women.

2. Tom Brady- Quarterback

Team: New England Patriots

Victim: Giselle Bundchen

Analysis: I'm going to keep it in the quarterback position to show that maybe it does work out. The quarterback is not going to beat you or choke you. He's usually the face of the franchise and that face can't afford to have blemishes.

Of course, Giselle is way hotter than Jessica Simpson, but it seems like Brady and Bundchen really like each other. There's rumors that she's even pregnant. That baby will be right up there with Branjelina's and TomKat's.

3. Hank Baskett- Wide Receiver

Team: Philadelphia Eagles

Victim: Kendra Wilkinson

Analysis: If you date a superstar wide receiver, you'll be getting into a relationship where HE'S the diva. But then there's the Hank Baskett's in the league who don't play enough to be divas. I would have to say that Kendra has the star power in this relationship, but if he's willing to put up with a blonde playboy model it just might work out.

4. Larry Johnson- Running Back

Team: Kansas City Chiefs

Victim: Julissa Bermudez

Analisis: Julissa was Free's replacement for a while on BET's 106 & Park. Johnson was in need of a star girlfriend and found Julissa to be the perfect girl to abuse at night clubs. Johnson built up a strong domestic violence record and the two eventually broke up. Running back, maybe not the best position to date. At least not angry ones like LJ.

5. Shawne Merriman- Linebacker

Team: San Diego Chargers

Victim: Tila Nguyen (Tila Tequila)

Analysis: Linebackers are probably the most brutal players on the field. (and she picked one that's been caught and suspended for steroid use) If Merriman in fact is the kind of person who takes that brutality home, could spell trouble.

Tequila mixed with steroids has the makings of a deadly relationship drink.

We'll see how this one works out but for future reference, Tila, you might want to go with a quarterback or just take your goods to a different sport.