Kornheiser fights a Storm

ESPN suspended Tony Kornheiser the lovable co-host of "PTI" for two weeks for clowning on SportsCenter anchor Hannah Storm last week.

"Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today," Kornheiser said. "She’s got on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt … way too short for somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now.

"She’s got on her typically very, very tight shirt. She looks like she has sausage casing wrapping around her upper body … I know she’s very good, and I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won’t … but Hannah Storm … come on now! Stop! What are you doing?"

The nutty old man who dons giant Ms. Cleo prop hats and a goatee begging for Just for Men gel has the audacity to make fun of Hannah Storm? (Hey, I don't work for ESPN. I'll describe him however I want.)

Of course Kornheiser apologized personally. He'll be back with Mike Wilbon in time to rant about March Madness.

"If you put a live microphone in front of somebody, eventually that person will say something wrong," Kornheiser said. "This was one of the times I said something wrong."

I'll keep that quote in mind if I ever do radio.

Information from The Associated Press was used in this report.

Not so broke after all

I know I've used this before, but I love how delightfully awkward this picture looks.





Bunch of thieves.

I feel like it's a circle of crooks. Why, Dodgers, why!

For six years under the McCourts, they have stolen my money with $5 hot dogs, and $6 coke, pocketed $108 million in earnings without having to pay taxes, 45 million of which was stolen by the Manny Ramirez contract, which I help pay for when I overpay to watch him hit legendary pop flies that go straight into the left fielder's glove and buy the hot dogs and coke with money that the McCourts pocketed $108 million of... you get the idea.

Anyway, the L.A. Times reports that the McCourts pocketed $108 million from 2004 through 2009, according to documents Jamie McCourt recently filed in the couple's divorce case in Los Angeles County Superior Court. On that sum, they paid zero federal and state income tax.

"The court papers indicate that the McCourts deliberately structured their business at least partially to allow them to live tax-free," Michael Hiltzik of The Times reported.

It's nice to see sweet success stories where the rich get richer. Since you're keeping all that money, how bout... yeah, why not? The first top 5 of the semester hidden within this blog!


Since it seems you guys are keeping extra change how bout you:










5. Pay Manny Ramirez to leave town
That bum has already said he doesn't plan on staying, get rid of him early. I'm tired of paying for pop flies. I fell for the Mannywood hype too, but I'm tired of him and his ovulation periods. Buy out his contract, you should have enough money from what you're pocketing.




the representative of the Dodgers' 99 problems





4. If there's any money left over, get us a flippin' ACE!
Dodgers haven't had a true Ace since Kevin Brown? I know we haven't had the best of luck with the people like Jason Schmidt, but management needs to grow a pair and finally cough up the money for a big name, you should have enough from what you're pocketing.









3. Better giveaway days
Maybe I'm just jealous because I don't qualify for the 14 and under giveaways, but that's beside the point. Don't judge me, you pocketed my money! Anyway, maybe bat night won't go as smoothly at Dodger Stadium as it does at Angels Stadium, but be creative and give me something good. I'm paying $25 for nosebleeds and $20 for food that should cost about $7 at most. $15 for parking, you can't give me a nice Matt Kemp shirt instead of that cheap cloth I use to clean the table with now. Give us a real souvenir, you should have enough from what you're pocketing.









2. Lower parking
$15 for parking? Seriously? It shouldn't be more that $5. Sure that's an unreal price these days, but does parking really need to be that expensive? Don't call my suggestion stupid, you're stealing my money! You guys should be able to lower the price. You should have enough money from what you're pocketing.



$15 for an hour of traffic in and out of the lot






1. Let Joe Torre run the team
You guys are going through a divorce, you're in no shape to run a professional baseball team. Year after year we've been getting second rate everything. I want to see Torre take a shot at running this team. We have a good, young nucleus, let Torre fill in the rest of the holes. What? Bad idea? Unrealistic? Pay him a little extra to give us a championship, you should have enough from; that's right... the money you're pocketing.

Trying to fool us by running the team like you're broke? I really hope this isn't true because if it is, what a wasted decade.

Short winter recap

The new semester has started at Mt. SAC and while the Mountaineer may have taken the winter off, Mt. SAC sports has been active.

Believe it or not, the basketball season is already over. The Mounties played a whole season already and both the men and women are getting set to make a run at the playoffs.

Rocking the Iverson braids, Antonio Biglow has been leading the men's team (24-4, 8-0 in division play,) scoring like a madman and getting everyone involved. The man has been ballin' and has been a true product of Coach Caveness' system as he always relayed messages of team play and defense at the end of every game.

The women's team had a lot of pressure as Coach Beeman has led them to state title after state title and while they haven't had a dominating season like seasons past, Cecy Cuevas and the Mounties have had a more than stellar season going 22-6 (7-1 within the division) as the first round of the playoffs start this Wednesday.

The baseball and softball seasons have gotten underway, and thanks to some rain delays, there's still plenty of home action to catch for both teams, starting this Wednesday at 6 p.m. as the men make up a rain out game against L.A. Valley. Softball will come back home on Thursday at 3 p.m. against East L.A.

The men's baseball team has started 2-4, but it's still early and it's still baseball so I can't wait to see what Coach Parker's team has to show this year after their crazy playoff run last year as 14th seed.

With both basketball teams in the playoffs, this will be the first time in my time with the Mountaineer that the men will be joining the women. I expect both to go deep as they have been playing strong on both sides all season and have shown they can beat tough teams in close games.

Superbowl Pick, the edited edition

Many of you read my blog yesterday about my Superbowl pick and predictions, but it was written very quickly and I was high on McDonald's sweet tea when I wrote it. This is what I really meant to say... ;)


This one won't be close. It's not going to be a shootout. It's not going to be a hundred point game and the COLTS aren't going to figure out the secret to stopping DREW BREES.

The Saints fans can make all the Manning Voodoo dolls they want and yell, "Who dat?" so they CAN CELEBRATE that DREW BREES is "dat."

Quite frankly the hurricane Katrina angle is getting old. If the Saints win, it will do nothing for those victims. There was an amazing game played on September 25, 2006 where football came back to the city of New Orleans. The city needed a picture of hope and it was given in that game where the Saints beat the Atlanta Falcons 23-3. All their sports teams had to abandon the city due to damages in their respective arenas, but once the Saints came back to the city, it showed that New Orleans was on the way back to being rebuilt.

The city still needs help, but the story tht seems to be getting lost is the one from Colts wide reciever Pierre Garcon, AND JONATHAN VILMA OF THE SAINTS the pride and joy of Haiti. This disaster just happened, why wouldn't success from THEM bring hope to Haiti the way that first game post-Katrina did for New Orleans?

Anyway, I don't buy this whole New Orleans underdog story. Katrina doesn't make the first place Saints underdogs; Peyton Manning does.


How do you find an underdog between two first place teams? By realizing that one player is so good that it tips the scale in his team's favor.

Peyton Manning has a group of the most massive men in front of him who do not let him get hit, Drew Brees doesn't really have that luxury, YET MANNING CHOKED UNDER PRESSURE AND BREES WAS THE ONE WHO CAME OUT SMELLING LIKE ROSES.

Saints put up a lot of points this season, but so did the Colts. I think the game is going to be predictable in accordance to the SAINTS season. The game will be close at first, SAINTS will pull ahead just before the half ends and the COLTS will go into halftime thinking "what the heck just happened?" Saints will come out hot in the second half TRYING TO STUFF IT DOWN THE COLTS' THROATS, AND THE SAINTS will pull away. After the game is out of reach, COLTS will TRY score a cheap touchdown at the end to make the final score respectable, AND MANNING WILL THROW AN INTERCEPTION.


SUPERBOWL 44 FINAL SCORE PREDICTION: 31-17 SAINTS over COLTS


GUARANTEES
-Manning to Garcon will be said countless times.

-BREES TO COLSTON WILL BE SAID COUNTLESS TIMES.

-Hurricane Katrina and Haiti will be mentioned every 20 minutes.

-HURRICANE KATRINA AND HAITI WILL BE MENTIONED EVERY 15 MINUTES.

-Kim Kardashian will be shown holding a sparkly sign every tim Reggie Bush brings back a kick.

-KENDRA'S HUSBAND WILL HAVE AN ONSIDE KICK BOUNCE OF HIS FACE.

-An old man who looks like Peyton Manning will be shown celebrating in a suite after every Colt touchdawn pass.

-AN OLD MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE DARRELL HAMMOND PLAYING JOHN MCCAIN ON SNL WILL BE SHOWN CELEBRATING AFTER EVERY COLT TOUCHDOWN PASS.

-Live footage of people dancing on Bourbon St.

-LIVE FOOTAGE OF PEYTON MANNING'S MELTDOWN

-Commercials of talking babies and hairy footed horses.

-COMMERCIALS OF PEOPLE SLAPPING EACH OTHER AND NO ONE WEARING PANTS

-"Who dat" will somehow be linked to The Who through clever wordplay.

-THE WHO WILL GIVE A SAD PERFORMANCE ON AN INCREDIBLY LIT UP STAGE.

-Manning will be dubbed the greatest quarterback by ESPN analysts after the game.

-MANNING WILL BE DUBBED ONE OF THE BIGGEST PLAYOFF CHOKERS BY ESPN ANALYSTS THE MORNING AFTER.
-People calling in sick tomorrow due to massive hangovers and food comas.

-THIS IS ALL STILL TRUE ^^^

-By halftime I will start counting the days 'til baseball season starts.

-AS WAS THIS ^^^

I knew the Saints were going to win the whole time.

Superbowl 44 pick!

This one won't be close. It's not going to be a shootout. It's not going to be a hundred point game and the Saints aren't going to figure out the secret to stopping Peyton Manning.

The Saints fans can make all the Manning Voodoo dolls they want and yell, "Who dat?" 'til they come to terms that Peyton Manning is "dat."

Quite frankly the hurricane Katrina angle is getting old. If the Saints win, it will do nothing for those victims. There was an amazing game played on September 25, 2006 where football came back to the city of New Orleans. The city needed a picture of hope and it was given in that game where the Saints beat the Atlanta Falcons 23-3. All their sports teams had to abandon the city due to damages in their respective arenas, but once the Saints came back to the city, it showed that New Orleans was on the way back to being rebuilt.

The city still needs help, but the story tht seems to be getting lost is the one from Colts wide reciever Pierre Garcon, the pride and joy of Haiti. This disaster just happened, why wouldn't success from him bring hope to Haiti the way that first game post-Katrina did for New Orleans?

Anyway, I don't buy this whole New Orleans underdog story. Katrina doesn't make the first place Saints underdogs; Peyton Manning does.


How do you find an underdog between two first place teams? By realizing that one player is so good that it tips the scale in his team's favor.

Peyton Manning has a group of the most massive men in front of him who do not let him get hit, Drew Brees doesn't really have that luxury.

Saints put up a lot of points this season, but so did the Colts. I think the game is going to be predictable in accordance to the Colts' season. The game will be close at first, Colts will pull ahead just before the half ends and the Saints will go into halftime thinking "what the heck just happened?" Saints will come out hot in the second half to try and make it a game, but Colts will pull away again. After the game is out of reach, Saints will score a cheap touchdown at the end to make the final score respectable.


SUPERBOWL 44 FINAL SCORE PREDICTION: 35-24 Colts over Saints


GUARANTEES
-Manning to Garcon will be said countless times.

-Hurricane Katrina and Haiti will be mentioned every 20 minutes.

-Kim Kardashian will be shown holding a sparkly sign every tim Reggie Bush brings back a kick.

-An old man who looks like Peyton Manning will be shown celebrating in a suite after every Colt touchdawn pass.

-Live footage of people dancing on Bourbon St.

-Commercials of talking babies and hairy footed horses.

-"Who dat" will somehow be linked to The Who through clever wordplay.

-Manning will be dubbed the greatest quarterback by ESPN analysts after the game.

-People calling in sick tomorrow due to massive hangovers and food comas.

-By halftime I will start counting the days 'til baseball season starts.